god dont know where to start or how to start,ive been a cardiac pt since
1993....... all the tail tale signs but was in denial, all nurses are in denial
about there own health issues....... after 12 yrs of blaming chronic fatiqye and heavy schedualing at work, a patient code brought me to my reality
that i was not invicible and was haveing another myocardial infarct.

This was the dusty road that lead my cardiologist to suspect hep c involvement in my recovery,shocked ,angry,and devestated was the badge i wore 4 2 months while recovering from havening cardiac stents implented in my arteries.....

My denial was as big as humpty dumpty helium ballon on a razor sharp fence , once punctured i flew all over afraid of the impendeing outcome and what my peers would think if they found out. i envisioned myself a person clad in lavender cloaked with a silver bell, as the old testament describes the lepers of the time, and if it were 1934 it would be molaki 4 me,how dare i member of the health profession succumb to hep c.

MY FAITH didnt help, my trusted friends backed off, includeing my cardiologist and my fate put me in the hands of a gastrointernest who placed his foot on my bed, looked down at me with a freudian snicker and blerted we need to do a liver biopsy, genotypes, assy rbc as i lied there in my bed thinking this guy is out of his mind, my cardiac condition isnt stable and then the anger in me reached up and verbally declared war.

No, no i dont want to here this now,ill be dead for sure, im out of here today as i burst into tears, i'm going home to die. so, here i sit 3 weeks later looking out like a blind man, as to where do i start, to take charge of my illness, and my life.

with this my question is, any answers, would be appreciated.

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